Counselling for Parent Carers: Support Beyond the Paperwork

Being a parent carer means walking a path most never see — one filled with fierce love, relentless advocacy, and often, invisible wounds. While practical support like navigating EHCPs and education law is essential, it does not heal the emotional toll. That’s where counselling comes in.

Who Are Parent Carers?

Parent carers are parents of children with special educational needs or disabilities (SEND). They juggle the usual demands of parenting while also coordinating medical appointments, therapy sessions, and educational plans. They are not just parents — they are advocates, researchers, educators, and often, exhausted.

My Story

I’m a parent to an autistic, academically able young boy. While he thrives now in a school that truly understands and supports him, that journey was anything but easy. I had to fight hard for an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) that accurately reflected his needs — not just on paper, but in a meaningful, enforceable way. The stress of the system, the gaslighting, the paperwork, the sleepless nights — it left its mark.

What Is Parent Carer Trauma?

Trauma for parent carers doesn't usually

come from a single event. It builds over time. Some of the ways we experience trauma include:

• Being dismissed or disbelieved by professionals

• Seeing our child in distress without the right support

• Being blamed for our child’s needs or behaviour

• Constantly fighting systems that should be helping

• Feeling isolated from friends, family, or school communities

• Living in a state of chronic stress, hypervigilance, and burnout

  
  

This trauma has real and lasting impacts on our wellbeing. Parent carers often live with high levels of anxiety, poor sleep, a constant sense of alertness, and a deep mistrust of systems that should be supporting them. Many are left feeling like they are the problem — labelled as “difficult” or “too emotional” by schools, professionals, or even other parents. The nervous system never quite switches off, and the stress becomes embedded. Over time, this takes a huge toll not just mentally, but physically, emotionally, and relationally.

The impact of this is often minimised — even by the parent carers themselves — because the focus is always on the child. But your emotional health matters too.

Advocacy vs. Counselling: They Are Not the Same

Many organisations offer brilliant support for navigating the SEN world — how to write effective EHCP requests, understanding your rights, or completing forms. This is advocacy, and it is essential.

But advocacy won’t give you space to cry. It won’t help you process the anger, fear, or guilt. It won’t sit with you in silence when words won’t come. That’s the role of counselling.

Counselling is a protected, compassionate space where you can tell the truth without judgment. A space to unpack not just what happened, but how it felt. To reconnect with parts of yourself you may have lost in the fight. To find calm in the chaos.

What Parent Carer Counselling Includes (and Doesn’t Include)

Counselling is not about giving advice or fixing your current SEN battle — though I know how hard it is to think clearly when you're in the middle of one. My role is not to advise you on strategy or legislation, but to walk alongside you as you process what it’s been like to carry all of this.

Creative Therapy can help you process pain

To begin with, you may want to tell me your story — how you got to this point. And there is often a lot of story. In fact, for many of us, retelling that story again and again (especially in places that didn’t feel safe or heard) may have left you feeling stuck. That’s why some parent carers haven’t found counselling helpful in the past.

Our work together will be different. As we get to know each other, we’ll work out what you need from each session. I often offer creative ways of working — using art, metaphor, and mindfulness — which allow you to express your feelings without getting caught in the ‘thinking’ part of your brain. This is particularly helpful when words are hard to find or when the emotions feel overwhelming.

We’ll also build in gentle self-care strategies. These aren’t fluffy extras — they are vital survival tools for the life you are living. And they will be tailored to you and your world.

You may still need an advocate to support you with practical issues, and I can help you recognise when that’s needed too. This is not a straight line — it's a delicate balance. But you don’t have to hold it all alone.

Final Words

Parent carer trauma is real. You are not broken — you are carrying more than anyone should have to. And you deserve support that sees you.

If you’re ready to explore a different kind of support — one that offers relief, clarity, and space to breathe — I’m here.

Nicola x

Click Me to book a session