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Let Yourself Be Sad



Every now and then I have a conversation about who I feel really sorry for during this crisis. It's usually one of these:

  • High school pupils doing online learning - jeepers creepers how to turn a generation off education!

  • Anyone living on their own!

  • Any one who has just had a baby - I made most of my friends while I was on maternity leave and I worry about the isolation some are facing with a new baby!

The conversation then usually contains one of these:

  • "At least we are well."

  • "Things could be worse"

  • "Some people have got it so much worse than us."


When we say these statements we are not allowing ourselves to feel the things we need to feel. You are minimizing what we are going through because you think others have it worse.


I got stung by a nettle the other day. I said, "Flickety flack!!" Several times because the kids were with me. It REALLY hurt. Am I not allowed to feel my pain because I didn't get my head chopped off or something less gruesome?


You can't really measure physical pain can you?


So why are you measuring emotional pain?


If something sad is happening to you you need to allow yourself to feel sad not put it on a scale next to everyone else's stuff to see if you are allowed to feel sad.


Sadness is yours for the taking, feel it, express it and then in the words of Elsa "Let it Go" (as an aside I can't wait until that is released on Disney+)


If you are sad because you can't go on holiday this year then have a good cry!

If you are sad because your children are missing school say it out allowed!

If it feels totally unfair that you haven't seen family and friends for ages then stamp your feet!


Please don't say, "At least...."


Watch out now, because you will notice how much you say it!!


Keep well, keep safe and feel those feelings


Love Nicola

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Nicola Hughes

Counsellor & Supervisor

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